(If you’re my boss: This is all totally a joke. Such a joke. I’m pretty funny, aren’t I? With my silly jokes.)
“Family emergency.” Translation: I need you to ask no questions. The family is not mine. It’s a television family. Yes, I’m just binge watching Netflix. Dunder-Mifflin feels like family to me at this point. I’ll probably call my grandma to assuage my guilt.
![Image result for dunder mifflin family meme](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/50/9f/da/509fda2ef56dd569c597208440b1e214.jpg)
“I’m having a hard time focusing.” Translation: I’ve been crying on the floor, due to depression.
“I’m sick.” Translation: My depression kept me in bed all day.
![Image result for depression nap meme](https://img.ifunny.co/images/2e7d3c9dafc0fa2587b3151952b0c24b08d7264e04dbac5dd460d57d3cb5f7d3_1.jpg)
“I’m fatigued due to illness...” Translation: My depression-induced insomnia kept me up all night.
“My wifi isn’t working.” Translation: Wow, depression makes it really hard to do things.
“My computer isn’t working.” Translation: Wowza, I’m so depressed I can’t even be bothered to flip open my laptop and press the on-button.
“I have a sore throat.” Translation: Good lord I don’t want to go to this meeting we have with the people from finance, I don’t wanna I don’t wanna I don’t wanna....
“I’ll work later to make up the hours.” Translation: I’ll log on and scroll listlessly through my emails for a half-hour tonight before giving up and playing the Sims.
![Image result for sims playing the computer](https://eggabase.com/wp-content/uploads/Easter_Eggs/Video_Games/The_Sims_4/Playing-The-Sims-1-350x300.jpg)
“I have a doctor’s appointment.” Translation: That one’s usually true actually.
“I need a mental health day.” Translation: I’m going to Disneyland on your dime, mofos.
![Image result for disneyland memes](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/cb/a9/5ccba965e6e8e6a256f6f9f87b217d2e.jpg)
Tag urself, I’m #ineedamentalhealthday.
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