Wednesday, September 4, 2019

5 Guys You Meet in Improv Class

I have spent over a decade in and out of improv classes of varying experience levels, spanning continents (well, two. Two continents. Two countries really. But continents sounds so much cooler) and differing widely in style. Yet, somehow, the same five guys always pop up in class.

If you haven’t taken an improv class before, get ready to meet all of your future male classmates. If you have taken an improv class before, get ready to nod knowingly.

Warning: If you feel rage, confusion, or satisfaction while reading this list, you’re probably on the list.

The Awkward Adolescent
Image result for awkward memesHe’s bravely venturing into your class to learn “people skills”. He can be anywhere from fourteen to forty-four, he’ll still ask to “friend” you on “the gram” and make painful jumps into conversations like he be jumping in to skinny-dip in November in Alaska. You can tell every conversational foray is a learning experience for him, and god help you if you take pity and actually invite him to drinks after class.

THE BOMB💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣
This guy would love to hear you call him this, and that’s the problem. Unpredictable and uncomfortable in his own skin (due to the overflow of chaotic energy), you never know what will happen when he goes onstage. All you know for sure is that it will be bold (in a bad way), offensive (someone tell him not to use those bad words, they’re for grown-ups), and a great story to tell your friends who’ve never been #blessed with his presence.

The Hearthrob 😻
Quite frankly, he’s distracting. You have no time to focus on any of his words during his scenes, because you’re looking at his chiseled cheek-bones and contemplating his chiseled collar-bones (mmm collar-bones) and imagining chiseled abs and chisel… chisel… what was I talking about? Right. God should distribute his gifts evenly, and when he puts the funny bone into a handsome pair of eyes, it’s just not fair. Good thing this happens so very rarely that you should just enjoy it when it does.

The Thinker 🖋
He’s “going to be a writer” and always has “feedback” for the instructor. In his scenes, every line comes out the side of his mouth, and he can’t help but comment on how “silly” everything is. You can clearly imagine him in a beret. You cringe anytime he gets notes, because you know it’s about to be an argument about his “motivation” and “process” and other terms that he picked up from movies about screenplays. I’d say more about him but I’m running out of quotation marks.

The Guy Who is Actually Good at Improv
He’s competition and I hate him.

Tag urself, I’m the #awkwardadolescent. And before you rage-quit my blog forever, I promise next week will be the “5 Girls You Meet in Improv Class”. All’s fair in love and comedy.

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